Internal Family Systems Therapy

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy is, in my opinion, a really beautiful modality and one that I use frequently in my work with clients. It was formally founded by Dr. Richard Schwartz and its use has spread extensively in recent years. If you’re unfamiliar and/or curious, I’d love to share some insights I’ve gained. I have received Level 1 IFS training through the IFS Institute, and I also do a lot of IFS work in my personal therapy.

A foundational idea of IFS is what’s called the “multiplicity of the mind”, which states that the human mind is made up of many parts as opposed to being a single, uniform entity. I like to think that most if not all of our thoughts and emotions are representative of our different “parts”. For example, instead of saying something like “I’m really anxious”, I might say “a part of me feels anxious right now”. The difference is very minute, but the distinction is key to helping us create just enough separation from our emotions that we can start to have more compassion for them. And when we can have more compassion for our parts and ourselves, we are better able to effectively process and move through difficult emotions and situations. 

Another concept within IFS is that of the “Self”. The Self exists at the core of our person, and we can tell that we’re connected with Self energy when we are feeling curious, compassionate, confident, creative, clear, calm, courageous and/or connected. Moving through life from a place of connection to Self prevents us from being hijacked by our thoughts and emotions, which in turn allows us to take a more neutral and observational stance about how we’re feeling. From there, we can be more mindful about how we’re responding to life and all the things it is constantly throwing at us.

Here are a couple of examples of different parts you may notice in your system. Maybe you have a defensive part that jumps into action anytime you feel your intelligence is being questioned. That defensive part might be very loud or even aggressive, and may prevent you from communicating clearly and calmly when it’s feeling activated. Alternatively, there might be a part of you that is really good at people pleasing. Perhaps that part of you helps to prevent conflict or social discomfort, but it also keeps you from expressing yourself authentically.

To be fair, most parts have taken on certain roles or perspectives out of necessity, probably during a time when you didn’t know how else to cope with your emotions or circumstances. Fast forward to today, and these parts don’t know that you now possess new knowledge, insight, wisdom and skills to navigate things differently! If we can increase our capacity to move through life more connected with our Self, we can unburden our parts from their roles and start living more authentically. (Key word there is ‘unburden’; we are not trying to get rid of our parts, just heal them.)

I could ramble on forever about IFS and parts work. It resonates so well for me and I find it to be a helpful tool for processing difficult emotions -- especially when we have multiple conflicting feelings at the same time. For example, it gives us language to express things like “well, part of me is really mad at this person right now…and another part of me totally understands why they’re acting this way”. An IFS approach helps us remember that multiple things can be true at the same time.

But I digress. I hope you found something helpful in this post, and if you’re interested in more information or trying some IFS therapy yourself, fill out my contact form and let me know! 

Take good care and talk soon,

Mikayla